Reading Month – 3/10/23

It’s been a while since I’ve actually sat down and enjoyed myself while writing one of these newsletters. Of course, I love doing this. I’m excited about this album; it’s been my motivation to finish all of my other work. I’ve had to really push through the last couple of weeks but I know that this path is worth it. I spend about 4-5 hours a day studying. If I’m not doing that, I’m walking somewhere, working, or in a class. I’m looking into going to grad school after this because I only have one more semester at this school. I’m excited for whatever’s next, but I’m ready to get on that train and go back home. Back to my family, the evil squirrels and the woods.

March is my favorite month for a number of reasons. I like how it always snows at least once or twice, the warms up the next week to 50 degrees. During this time is the best time to walk in the woods. There are no mosquitos, no allergies, and not a lot of people. You get beautiful, calm, mild weather on some days.

This is what I mean, these pictures describe it perfectly.

I began picking up my books again. In February, I did not commit the time to reading as much as I wish I did. March is reading month, if you’ve forgotten. I certainly forgot until now. Find me on GoodReads! My username is Proxoxie and it should pop up as Molly Tramell. I am currently reading My Drowning by Jim Grimsley which is most defiantly not a feel-good book. I  want to read a romance or something exciting after this, but I love that it takes place in the south.

Here’s the Goodreads description:

Jim Grimsley returns to the Southern landscape evoked so powerfully in his previous award-winning novels, “Winter Birds” and “Dream Boy”, to tell an unforgettable story of a woman’s search for the meaning of a dream that has haunted her throughout her life.
Ever since Ellen Tote can remember, she has dreamed of her mother slowly drowning. Now, with her own children all grown and her siblings long gone, Ellen journeys back to her childhood for answers. Piecing together her memories, she finally articulates a story so shattering, it had long been silenced by fear and shame. Both heartrending and life-affirming, this compelling portrait of a brave yet tragic woman celebrates the courage and endurance of the human spirit.

This book is literally so depressing, I had to put it down and read something else at some points. I picked up Dream Boy by Jim Grimsley. This is one of my favorite books. It’s a book about two guys that fall in loves in the 70’s in the south. There’s a lot of beauty and religious symbolism in this book, it makes me happy every time I read it.

I love the aesthetic of the Dream Boy Movie, here are some pictures I like;

This book absolutely killed me, though. It was a great story, but I wanted it to end happily. I guess you can say it’s a mysterious, sad ending.

This newsletter is one of the only stable things in my life other than God. I’ve been very busy lately, and I’m thankful for every opportunity God’s given me. I’ve been searching for more ways to glorify God. I’ve learned a lot this week while I read Matthew. I love Matthew 5:21 – 26.

Anger

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with the brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says ‘you fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”

Reflecting on these things, I’ve certainly been there. I’ve certainly been angry and have projected that onto others. I find it difficult to speak with compassion at times. The only thing we can do when we stumble, is to pick ourselves back up and continue towards the path of the light. I’m thankful that I’ve been given opportunities to better myself.

In this passage, God begins with murder then alludes to the acts which precede it. This is powerful to understand, even to those who don’t read the Bible. Murder is the ultimate fracture in any relationship. The question we should be asking is what behaviors impel someone to commit this act? God views anger as the seed of murder, that’s why you will be judged when you act accordingly. There’s a lot to write about this concept. I also have much to learn.

I’ve been referring back to this passage earlier in the week. The best part is that I was flipping through one of my journals, and I had found Matthew 6:33 in one of the journals when I flipped to a random page. That passage has to do with following the kingdom of God, as everything that belongs to this world is temporary and that you should live in God’s light. An example of doing that would be to bring your angry thoughts to God before you let them out into the world.

I get burnt out really easily when I give my everything to something. This week, I’ve been giving my everything to studying and I’m starting to zone out. What usually helps this is listening to Ariana Grande covers or chewing gum or something. I played Tetris for 30 minutes then continued to do an assignment I’ve been trying to complete for this entire day. I think Tetris hurts my brain even more than the school work does. I like this kind of stuff though; I love learning about things. I also like studying, especially in libraries.

I want to devote more time to music, but I know that I have to make money and do school right now. That is very real Lol. In the meantime, I can just plan this album out and keep teasing it hehehe.