I am so happy. I feel like before Hotel PROXOXIE, I really lost my passion in everything I was doing. I know God’s always got my back, but I truly was asking so many questions and was constantly in a state of discontent with my art.
It is cool when you feel inspired for the first time in ages. I feel like I am just so addicted to blogging and the internet as well. One of these days I want to disconnect from everything and connect with my art. I always think about randomly taking a train to a cabin somewhere but stopped when I start thinking about the logistics.
Hotel Sneak Peak
Music has been at the forefront of my life for as long as I can remember. When I think about what my relationship with music really is, I can say that music and I are always together. Sometimes, when I lock my door when I leave the house, I catch myself practicing a vocal riff without even being conscious of it.
In all honesty, I feel like my Debut Album wasn’t truly 100% me. It was me throwing around money and experimenting with different work styles. This is why I am ecstatic to release the Hotel PROXOXIE album. I feel like this project has recentered my artistry and brought me back to my core.
Let’s talk about the concept of double lives… You see I feel like we all live a double life. I can definitely relate to this. The older you get, the more you realize that. I am just starting out in life, and I am just realizing that. That’s because for the last couple of years, I thought life had already been over. Not in terms of doom and gloom, but it felt like when I had aged out of my teens that my life had been decided for me even though I was the one making the decisions.
I have a tendency to please everyone. Half the time, when I made any creative or life decision, it had been contingent on the opinions of my friends and family. This is something I have to work on. Perhaps that is why I don’t hustle my art more. I use my time to hustle my life more and move around in the real world. At night, I can come back into myself and check into Hotel PROXOXIE where everything is my decision.
Of course, God is always here, moving me along in the right direction. I just can’t help but feel like I could be doing more. That is absolutely an American attitude. Just know that if you think you could be doing more, I resonate with you completely. Sometimes, you simply can’t do more because like it or not; we all have metal capacities.
Being an artist nowadays is all about building momentum. Whether it be through shows or drops, it is important to keep it going. I fear that I cannot keep up with the rate that I crave. FOMO is a warped perception of life. Sometimes it’s best to wait.
Last year I had to take a break from art and reevaluate my brand and my life. It was worth it to me because I discovered some pitfalls about myself as a person and worked on them. This is important to do as an artist because of your viewership. If my people constantly consume self-destructive art, then the attitude in the community will foster a hostile environment.
At the end of the day, the only thing that matters to me is my relationship with God. The rest will come naturally, I just refuse to compromise myself as a person amidst all of the noise in the world. I get FOMO all of the time, but I know God has his plan for me.
I am proud of how far I have come. Especially as a woman… it’s just I am doing this on my own out of pocket without a label or a manager. Of course, WITH THE HELP OF FRIENDS, family and people I trust. I am doing this while I work two jobs, 7 days a week. I am proud of myself. I am proud of all of you guys too, I have been keeping up with you in the PROXOXIE broadcast channel on Instagram. I see what you guys are doing and everyone is working so hard for their passions.
Let’s continue to lift each other up and spread light.
Thank you for sticking around this long. I am so excited for this year. Since You’ve read this blog, you get the new songy early <3 Enjoy