Let’s talk about ideas. I have a lot of artistic ideas of where I want my sound to go. I have a lot of energy. I think I want to make more experimental stuff. Like experimental, nature, psychedelic, wolf, furry, rave, universe, silence, noise, energy…
Cant describe it. I need to take the wheel more creatively with my production.
I want to make another album
Some days it’s really hard to focus on my art because I have made it so front facing. Like, using my face a lot and then I blog and I’m like, wow I am really only talking about myself, and looking at myself, and blogging about myself and then I’m like, sometimes it feels so narcissistic. Especially when I get way into my head about it.
Then it’s like, what do I think about other artists? I think “good for you” because I am doing the same shit, and that I am competitive but how can you compete with artists when all of your music is supposed to be pulling a different specified niche crowd? At least in the scenes I am in.
And then it’s like, Do I take myself TOO seriously? Do I love criticism TOO much? Will I ever create music that I can die knowing that I created it? Do I love overthinking? Hell yeah I do.
Love overthinking, addicted to stress and caffeine. Would rather take out my misery on myself rather than others and that’s why I need God, so I can vent to him when I feel like my own problems will stress someone else out.
Thinking about what’s going on in the world and I worry for my friends and my fans. There will never be a time where there is peace in my opinion, it’s human nature. I worry about everything, it is my weakness. Overthinking and anxiety.
Why is this coming out as a confession? I have been scared to go online because I don’t want to absorb all of the junk that is out there right now, I don’t want to waste my energy on divisive ai bot accounts.
All I really want is friends I guess? That sounds insanely pathetic lol. I want opportunities to use my potential and my sharp mind while I am young. I can do a whole lot of things in life, I am interested in almost anything. I want to have conversations with people that have different lives and perspectives as me.
Sometimes, I just want to turn my brain off but I can’t and that’s me just being honest. Why do I have to tell anyone what I am thinking? I totally don’t have to. It’s just that I want to. I need to document my life somewhere, I don’t NEED to, I just want to.
This is a doomer blog.
The reason I use my face so much for my music is because when I had started out in 2021, I noticed that all posts using my face got more engagement.
Now, I don’t want my face on anything much anymore. I want the back of my head to be showing. I want to look away from the camera and focus on the sound. I want to do something new, completely from my brain and not someone else’s. Maybe someone else, too. We will see.
I like being alone, in my life I have a partner and maybe a few people I can call every once in a while.
I don’t have traditions, holidays aren’t my favorite. I am not lonely. I just don’t see a reason why I should celebrate traditions if they don’t apply to me. Christmas in America isn’t about Jesus, it’s about buying shit for people. Sometimes I want to celebrate Christmas in a different country, like Romania. I have family in Romania.
The key is to love everybody. You don’t have to give them anything else but your respect, forgiveness, some love. Maybe not all at once. Sometimes respect has to be earned again. Sometimes forgiveness is hard. Forgiveness is peace for both parties. Love is hard.
How could you love a stranger on the street if you don’t know them?
I think about all of the different sides to life and how opinions and politics shape the surroundings. You can chose who you are surrounded by. I want to be surrounded by a bunch of people who have different politics, different opinions from one another.
All I know is that I love furies and I love Romanians.
There has to be a furry Romanian out there for me to talk to.
