So we made it an entire year, blogging weekly… sort of. A lot has changed since October 21st 2022 in my music project, the world, in my personal life and my beliefs. I guess that is the definition of growth; Once we overcome challenges, we are able to say that we can tackle more.
This blog will mostly be dedicated to reflection. I was in a very different place mentally last year compared to this year. In my personal life, I was going through a breakup and was living with my mom. I stopped releasing music during this time up until June, which is the longest hiatus I’ve ever taken. It wasn’t until March 2023 that I had decided to start preparing a debut album consisting of old and new material.
September 2022
I wanted to breath life into my old singles; the stuff that had carried me during the pandemic in my hometown. I had began making music in 2017, I actually began with singer songwriter guitar stuff and it evolved into bedroom pop, then screaming/rap surprisingly, until I took a long break in 2020 to figure myself out.
During this time, I struggled with identity. I knew there was always something inside of me that was dark and scared the shit out of my family. That thing inside of me will always persist, but I can express it in lyrical form. So I took to writing a new style of music influenced by trends in the underground, I guess you can call it scenecore, but I really don’t think it is entirely that. I never really identified with any group or collective because I take art very personally, and it is hard to tie my brand to artists I have never met before. My friend Gwen and I began making this type of music. Speaking for myself, it was the healthiest way to express my emotions, I know I can be turbulent and hard on myself, it’s taken years of therapy to get to the point where I am now.
January 2023
So there I was; approaching the new year of 2021, establishing a new identity, graduating community college and attempting to figure out what was next. I am thankful that resources were very accessible to my community; I grew up in a town called Dearborn Michigan, and my high school offered free associates degree to support academic progress. My parents were there to support me too, which was a huge reason why I was able to go to college. Originally, I didn’t want to go to any sort of college until my mom asked me “Who do you think is going to pay for your life?”. I realized that I had to start providing for myself and I knew that my art would always be there inside of my soul, I just needed a community to express it in.
In Dearborn, I fell in and out of a few communities, I was deteriorating though. I struggled with drugs and caused trouble at school. So I made the decision to go to therapy and try to figure myself out before I lost opportunities. I got accepted into an art school in Chicago and it really did elevate my music career. Chicago truly is a wonderful hub for standing out; there is opportunity everywhere. I am blessed to be part of the revitalization of community here after the pandemic. It seems that once an artist gains traction here, they move to the coasts and leave the midwest. I always wanted an opportunity to move to New York, but I want to be able to gain wealth and establish financial freedom here in the midwest, even if it’s not the most glamorous life it’s still a very fortunate life.
September 2022
So that takes us to the blogging. I eventually figured myself out and I made a name for myself in this city. People are beginning to come around and recognize my music, of course I don’t put as much time into it as I wish I could. I have recently been working my ass off while finishing school to be able to throw money into music. I work two jobs currently, and I am unable to give 100% of my all into anything at this moment, but I am slowly making progress and I thank God for these opportunities to learn strength and endurance.
This year of blogging has been about establishing identity for the second time and picking up the pieces. You know something is wrong when you are unable to eat or function properly so I took some time off. When I came back online to bring my art into the scene, I noticed a lot of changes. The world moves fast, trends come in and out and we all try to tread water to stay relevant. I have been building my team who I make efforts to mention, as they have really taken on some of the work that I cannot do myself with art. Being a musician is a lot of teamwork, and I can’t say that I do it all by myself anymore; I hire my friends and talented people to do it for me.
October 2022
I don’t have much to give, but I try to compensate fairly. I resist the urges to run away from everything when it gets hard, I want to be able to prove myself to my family and supporters. I do see how I can be dramatic, but I do have a flair for theatrics. I am past the point of trying to impress people, but I am trying my hardest to express myself accurately. This year has been all about cultivating a healthy community and once again; picking up the pieces.
I am 21 years old on this day, I have a lot of time to do this music shit. I put a lot of pressure on myself to get everything done, I don’t want to miss opportunities. God has his plan for me and all I can do is tell the people reading this how much you all mean to me. Without an audience, I’d probably still be making art in some corner of the internet, but it’s more fun to share it with people.
Spring 2023
Thank you for coming back to my blog, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read all this, thank you for listening to my music project and inspiring me to grow as a person and an artist. THANK YOU for one year of blogging. Let’s celebrate.
Shameless Promo
Come out to this show to support us; October 29th 2023.
